All around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it’s accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot or putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast food restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own “walk.”

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn’t fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

Both groups listen to music that either their children or their parents don’t understand.

Both groups tend to like their music loud.

The males in both groups are into weird hats.

Both groups are randomly accused of having questionable driving habits.

The females in both groups are into weird hair colors and strange hair styles.

Both groups are into strange or flashy clothing.

Both groups tend to have trouble parking.

Members of both groups have developed “selective hearing.”

Both groups have a penchant for forgetfulness.

Many in both groups are not into safe sex.

Both groups ask for help around tax time.

Both groups laugh at the dumbest stuff on TV.

Both groups use their own slang to confuse other family members.

Gene Smith lives in West Virginia. He’s 60 years old and, right now, can’t seem to remember what else he has done in his life.

For Centuries the Catholic Church forbid people from eating meat on Fridays and so no one ate meat, instead they ate something else. Now that the Pope changed the rules a few decades ago one has to wonder if indeed it is fair to all the people who previously went to hell for eating meat on that day.

I mean there they are stuck in hell for something that is no longer against the rules, says the little hunched over guy in the funny “B-Movie” type Wardrobe and cruises around in a silly little Pope Mobile. Nevertheless, now that the rules have changed, I propose we organize a multi-lateral Coalition of the greatest nations on Earth with the greatest military and form a rescue mission. We must bring these poor soles back from Hell.

Why? Well because it is not fair you know. We know we cannot get the United Nations to pass a resolution, after all who knows how many of the Third World Leaders are Satan followers or how many modern nations are involved in some sort of “Food-for-the-Souls Programs” under the table so to speak?

We must save these souls as their civil rights are being severely violated down there and we as caring nation must do something about this. We cannot negotiate with the Devil or the nation states, which sponsor him. So we may have to go down there ourselves and save these souls. It is a just and noble cause after all these folks only wanted to put a little protein in their diets and did not have anything against animals with hooves or eating them on Fridays?

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner’s had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. It appears that the New Orleans Housing marker has gone down the drain. New Orleans experienced significant growth in the past year, prices had increased; many had taken out second loans to pay off credit car debt, which helped fuel the economy there. Relatively few need their credit cards for recent shopping sprees, as they just broke in with a little help from their friends and took those few items they needed for survival. You know like a; Surround-A-Sound System, with HDTV, 64″ Flat Panel Display to watch your favorite local team the Saints.

Yes the market is flooded with homes for sale in the City New Orleans indeed. Some of these fine homes are not only very cheap now, but they come with the former residents still inside. The local economic development association director issues a recent statement that he and his staff are very optimistic about the future of the New Orleans real estate and that they do not see a dry period in the housing market there. In addition they indicated that New Orleans has a lot going for it; water rates are cheap with an abundant supply and sewage is not a problem also quite abundant. But that is not all. They touted their many shopping districts with rock bottom prices, so low in fact it was almost like stealing and the city at this point is not even charging sales tax, almost like a duty free shopping spree. Crime and community services are also not a problem and are both abundant and non-existent. Transportation is not a problem there is virtually no traffic at all. Think about the New Orleans housing market, get in on the ground floor while prices are cheap.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Why is it that we have so many rules and regulations for every single industry in the United States of America? We attack our business community each and every day and we make rules and regulations that lawyers use in extortion tactics to sue American companies. We need to reduce the rules and regulations in our nation for our business communities and we need to put more rules and regulations on the lawyers, which I believe to be professional parasites and terrorists against the American people.

I propose that each and every lawyer be given a lie detector test and a drug tests annually or they cannot renewal their legal license to practice law. Additionally, everybody in each law firm will be required to take a lie detector test annually to make sure that they are not trying to break the law by controlling the law or staying above law.

If we fail to watch over the legal industry they will continue to manipulate our laws further their own personal financial gain as they are self-serving parasites against humanity. There is nothing worse than a crooked lawyer and probably nothing more common in my opinion. And since this is my opinion you cannot sue me; you rotten scoundrel lawyers. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

A trendy new nightclub that caters to baby boomers who find themselves unexpectedly single was raided by police last night. Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the hotspot by accident, police were able to determine that many of the partying patrons were dropping antacid.

The owner, who was taken away in cuffs, claimed, “I had no idea some of the customers were dropping that stuff. But somehow they were smuggling it past the bouncers - Alka-Seltzer, Tums, Rolaids, you name it. Had I known, I would have slipped them some complimentary club soda.”

A female boomer noted, as she was being booked, “I admit it. I’ve become addicted to Alka-Seltzer How would you like to be in your fifties and be back out on the meat market? I just hope my children understand.”

A male patron, who was apprehended while attempting to escape as fast as he could amble down the street, lamented, “I’m single, I’m upset, so no wonder I need regular doses of Mylanta. And there’s nothing I won’t do to get it - rob, murder, even pick up a bottle at the drugstore.”

To the relief of the distraught boomers, who have a seemingly irrepressible urge to enjoy life even into their later decades, the club is scheduled to reopen tonight.

However, upon arrival the trendy crowd will notice that a new sign has been placed above the entrance, notifying them that “The Possession Of Antacid On These Premises Is Strictly Forbidden.”

Tom Attea, creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing “”delightfully funny” and “witty” with “good, genuine laughs.”

Have you ever met someone who worked at the CIA or has retired from the CIA? Well if you have there is a good chance he is gay. Many people in the intelligence industry are homosexuals and many are very flagrant homosexuals although some are still closet homosexuals and you might not even know that if we did not tell you. But they if they tell you they use to work at the CIA there is a good chance they are homosexual or gay.

Some conspiracy theorists believe that over 80% percent of the people who work at the CIA are homosexuals, whereas others say it is only about 20 percent. But no matter what if you know someone who works at the CIA or is ex-CIA then they are probably gay.

When you meet someone who says they work at the CIA or has formerly worked at the CIA you must assume that they are automatically homosexuals and gay. I am not the only one who believes this, you would be surprised to how many people around Washington D.C. believe the same thing.

If you are homosexual there is a good chance you can get hired by the CIA and travel to foreign lands on taxpayers money and even get good benefits when you retire. Plus you will be able to screw many foreigners in more ways that one. It is great that homosexuals have a place in our government? This proves we are a non-biggot nation and that our government is equal opportunity employer for homosexuals. Consider this in 2006 especially if you are gay.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Saddam Hussein, now formally charged with crimes against humanity, is now faced with charges by irate tie makers.

“This man is guilty of killing the tie business,” a representative of the plaintiffs stated immediately after his arrival from New York’s garment district. “And the evidence is right before your eyes. Every day he shows up in court wearing a white shirt without a tie.”

Mr. Hussein defended his actions, saying, “It’s perfectly understandable why I avoid ties. I don’t want to feel anything tight around my neck, at least, until I don’t have a choice. Meanwhile, I have every right to hang loose.”

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing “”delightfully funny” and “witty” with “good, genuine laughs.”